


Not A Booty Call

by CrimesOfADeadpool



Series: Thin Walls [3]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward First Times, Blow Jobs, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Geeky, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 04:26:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4290783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimesOfADeadpool/pseuds/CrimesOfADeadpool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"This isn’t a booty call. It’s…” Peter searched for a word. “A natural ending to a pleasant evening.” </i>
  <br/>
  <i>Wade snickered, placing a hand on Peter’s thigh. “A natural ending to a pleasant evening,” he mocked. </i>
  <br/>
  <i>Peter was more concerned with the hand to come up with a good retort, so he hummed in agreement instead.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4117279"> 'I Heard a Sound'.</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Booty Call

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Breyito](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breyito/gifts).



> Breyito said "OH, please, please, please, please, write a sequel!!! As a prompt? Like, their first time? And they stop a lot to say stupid quotes and lyrics lines, among laughing and moaning?" on I Heard a Sound, so here we go...

“So, this is me,” Peter said nervously.  
Wade gave him a sleazy smile in response.  
Because, of course Wade knew this was his room, they lived only doors apart.  
A wall apart.  
Barely a wall, even.  
But Peter had never claimed to have a way with words.  
Not like Wade, who had a line for everything.  
_Literally everything._  
Wade hadn’t stopped talking throughout their five dates. Peter loved it.  
Except now, as he stepped closer, hands pressing against the walls on either side of Peter’s head.  
“So Peter,” he purred, fluttering his eyelids.  
Peter would’ve laughed if Wade hadn’t seemed so serious.  
“Fifth date,” Wade continued.  
Peter nodded silently.  
Wade moved one hand off the wall to toy with Peter’s shirt. “Isn’t it about time you invited me in for ‘coffee’?”  
Peter flushed. It was _past time_ for Peter to invite him in, especially considering their audacious start. Incredibly audacious. Peter’s flush deepened. How exactly do you go from _that_ to real sex?  
Wade didn’t seem to be put off though.  
“Would you like to come in?”  
“For coffee?”  
“Yeah. Coffee.”  
Wade seemed pleased. “After you.”  
Peter slipping under Wade’s arm and unlocked his door, throwing it open unceremoniously as he entered.  
Wade chuckled under his breath as he followed, then wolf whistled.  
“Nice place you got here, Petey,” he said as he shut the door.  
“Isn’t yours the same?”  
Wade gave a nervous cough. “Yeah. Like a year ago.” He shrugged. “I like take away and don’t like cleaning.”  
Peter shook his head fondly.  
Wade plopped down onto the couch. “Coffee?”  
Peter flushed. “I uh… don’t actually have any coffee.”  
There was a silence.  
Wade burst out laughing. “No…coffee,” he choked out finally. “So …pervy…Peter… completely ruined pretence…that this wasn’t just…booty call….”  
Peter mocked scowled as he slid next to him on the couch and elbowed him in the ribs. “We’ve been dating for weeks. We _just_ had a date. This isn’t a booty call. It’s…” he searched for a word. “A natural ending to a pleasant evening.”  
Wade snickered, placing a hand on Peter’s thigh. “A natural ending to a pleasant evening,” he mocked.  
Peter was more concerned with the hand to come up with a good retort, so he hummed in agreement instead.  
Wade snickered again, leaning in to breathe against Peter’s neck before kissing it gently. “I thought scientists were supposed to be more like…smart?”  
“There’s a reason the nerd stereotype never gets dates,” Peter replied, tilting his head to kiss Wade properly. He still tasted like the Chinese food they’d shared earlier. They started slowly, little kisses turning into deeper ones. Wade’s lips were dry, Peter thought as he tilted his head a bit more, making him feel just a little more self-conscious about himself.  
Then Wade was pulling him onto his lap.  
Peter chuckled into the kiss, pulling away to give him a sceptical look. “Not a booty call,” he reminded him.  
Wade rubbed his face into Peter’s neck. “I just wanted to hold you,” Wade protested.  
Peter’s flush deepened. “Sap,” he teased.  
Wade lifted his head and grinned at Peter. He shifted his knee, making Peter shift upwards, and Wade took the opportunity to grab his ass.  
Peter gaped at him. “ _Rude,”_ he said finally.  
Wade pulled him closer into another kiss. “You keep bringing up your booty, just wanted to see if it was as good as advertised.”  
Peter snorted. “How smooth of you.”  
“Smooth is my middle name.”  
“I thought it was Winston.”  
“I’m like that duck on Ben 10, multiple middle names each as cool as the last.”  
Peter rolled his eyes and stood up. He held out a hand. “Bedroom?”  
Wade let his head fall backwards, closing his eyes. “I’m comfortable here.” He shot Peter an innocent look. “Why on earth would we move to the bedroom?” He blinked. “Are you trying to have your way with me Doctor Parker?”  
Peter folded his arms and shrugged. “Guess I’ll go by myself.”  
He turned and walked away, shaking his hips as he did, feeling incredibly cheesy as he did so, but knowing Wade would eat it up.  
He was two steps into his room when Wade’s arms wrapped around his waist.  
“Don’t want you to be lonely,” Wade told him.  
“So lonely,” Peter agreed.  
Wade pressed kisses into his neck as he surveyed the bedroom. “Very nice,” he murmured. “Perfect for the _natural ending to our pleasant evening_.”  
Wade’s hands were slipping under his top. Peter let out a soft moan as Wade’s fingers traced his skin.  
They faltered for a second, and suddenly Peter was spun around. “Baby boy, are you _ripped_?” Wade lifted up the shirt and his mouth dropped open. “What? How??”  
Peter shrugged loosely. “The lab is gym adjacent?”  
Wade put a hand on his own stomach. “And here I was thinking you’d be impressed,” he pouted.  
Peter gave him his best winning smile. “I haven’t seen you yet.”  
Wade grinned in response, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it onto the floor.  
“Please no, put your clothes anywhere,” Peter said sarcastically, to take his mind off just how much he wanted to touch… maybe lick a little.  
“Didn’t you tell me to make myself at home?”  
“I pointedly did not.”  
“Well, that’s just bad manners.” He eyed Peter. “But I see you’re full of bad manners.” He shook his head and pointed at his chest. “One-nil.”  
Peter translated it in his head and reached to take off his shirt.  
“Slowly!” Wade exclaimed. He circled around Peter and sat himself on the bed, lying back and lounging.  
Peter gave him a look and pulled his shirt up slowly, inch by inch. “You’re the real perv,” he muttered.  
Wade crossed his legs at the ankles. “The perve-iest,” he agreed.  
Peter tugged the shirt over his head.  
Wade wolf-whistled. “Move that ass this way baby boy.”  
Peter slipped onto the bed. “I’m doing this because I want to, not because you told me so,” he told him, bracing his arms on either side of Wade’s chest.  
Wade smiled up at him. “Hello there handsome.”  
Peter ducked his head. “You sure know how to set the mood.”  
Wade’s hands found their way to Peter’s hips. “Just thinking of the first time I heard your voice,” he said in a faux-seductive voice.  
Peter snorted. “Where is the moment we needed the most?” he asked in a dry tone.  
“You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost,” Wade sang back, drawing circles with his thumbs against Peter’s hips.  
“Dork.” Peter brushed his lips against Wade’s.  
“Said the pot to the kettle. Which is a weird saying, you know, who keeps their pots and kettles in talking distance of each other? Why is the pot such a dick? The whole thing is kettle-organised slander of the well-meaning pot community, I’m telling yoummpph.”  
Peter had cut him off with a kiss. Wade had a tendency to ramble, and somehow talking about the war between kettles and pots wasn’t what he was craving.  
They were panting when Peter lifted his head.  
“Oh Peter, I’m beginning to think you want something.”  
Peter _growled._ “Whatever gave you that idea?”  
Wade lifted his hips, brushing against Peter’s groin. “Just a thought.”  
Peter flushed. He wasn’t hard yet, not even close, but if Wade kept that up, he was going to get there soon.  
Wade hummed. “Red as a tomato, my favourite.” He licked his lips.  
Peter’s eyes were drawn to them.  
Wade slid down a little bit, so Peter’s eyes were in line with Wade’s.  
“My eyes are up here, sweetums.”  
“That’s why the lady is a tramp, _”_ Peter whispered.  
Wade looked at him appalled. “Did you just sing a forties song?”  
Peter shrugged. “Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett version.”  
Wade shook his head. “If you’re going to sing old songs, at least sing the original.”  
“Does the original even exist anymore?” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m beginning to think you don’t want to have sex anymore.”  
Wade’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape. “You said the ‘s’ word!”  
Peter let his body go slack, wrapping his arms around Wade’s waist and burying his head against Wade’s neck. “You’re such a dork.”  
“You already said that,” Wade mused, running a hand through Peter’s hair.  
“I just wanna have sex,” Peter moaned into Wade’s skin.  
Wade’s hand slid down Peter’s back and under the hem of Peter’s pants. “But isn’t getting to know each other more important?”  
Peter rolled his hips. “I have a way to get to know each other better.”  
Wade blinked twice. “You’re right. Why am I fighting this?” He flipped them, Peter on his back, gazing up at Wade. “Oh Petey,” Wade purred, “You’re giving me performance anxieties.”  
Peter raised an eyebrow. “That’s not as sexy as you think.”  
Wade fluttered his eyelashes again. “I think it’s _very_ sexy.”  
“I think you’re _very_ wrong.”  
“Which is why I’m on top,’ Wade declared.  
“Are you?”  
Wade blinked down at him. “Not usually, no,” he admitted. “But you do have a uke air about you.” He pinched Peter’s cheek. “Very Misaki.”  
“Are you seriously referencing Junjou Romantica?”  
“You know it!” Wade crowed. He ducked down to plant a kiss on Peter’s collarbone.  
“Does that make you Usagi?” Peter wondered aloud, as Wade’s kisses moved downwards.  
“I do have a fondness for teddy bears,” Wade licked over one of Peter’s nipples, prompting an aborted gasp from Peter.  
“And I’d be a great erotica writer.” He licked the other one. Peter was ready this time and barely made a sound. His knees slid up, and he pressed them against Wade’s hips.  
“You’d just end up quoting a bunch of stuff.” Peter told him.  
“Good point, young Padawan.” Wade kissed him a bit lower.  
“Your smut would just be- _ahh_ \- ramblings,” Peter continued.  
“Ramblings is such a weird word, you know, why isn’t the ‘b’ silent? Is ramb a word? Why is the English language so hard?”  
“You know, I’m not sure if you’re providing examples, or just wired that way.”  
Wade had reached the top of Peter’s pants. Peter stretched out his legs again.  
“Are you accusing me of being a robot? What type of robot? Am I anatomically correct? Like Data or Jorian? Otherwise this,” he tugged at the hem with his teeth before dropping it again. “Would be a bit awkward.”  
Peter closed his eyes, trying to think. “Those are androids. Completely different.” He tried to give Wade a look over. “Well, I suppose it’d make you a selfless lover.”  
Wade snorted as he pulled down Peter’s pants, guiding Peter to lift his hips. He threw the offending items away.  
Peter would’ve complained, but was too busy biting his lip and blushing.  
Wade opened his mouth.  
“I swear to god if you make a joke now I will walk out of here.” Peter said through clenched teeth.  
Wade’s eyes twinkled as he looked at him. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He craned his neck down and kissed the tip of Peter’s cock.  
It was like a switch had been thrown. Up until that point, Peter hadn’t realised how aroused he was getting. His cock jerked and he clenched his fists in his sheets.  
“There we go,” Wade teased, kissing the insides of Peter’s thighs. “I was beginning to think _you_ were the robot.”  
“If I were a robot I wouldn’t be blushing so much,” Peter grumbled. Then he moaned loudly as Wade took his cock in his mouth.  
Wade let it fall out of his mouth again with a grin. “I like the blush.”  
“Everyone does,” Peter muttered as he loosened his tight grip on the sheets.  
Wade shot forward to kiss Peter’s mouth. “No talking about exes while I’m in the bed. It hurts my feelings.”  
“Isn’t there a Disney movie out about that?” He ran a hand through Wade’s hair.  
“Ooh, is that an invitation to our sixth date?”  
“Maybe if you get on with it.”  
Wade snorted and slid down again. He nuzzled against Peter’s cock. “So it’s true men think with this.”  
“Don’t refer to my - _hnnn_ \- cock as ‘this’.”  
“Your cock,” Wade repeated. “Not little Petey? Parker Jr?”  
Peter slid his hand between his legs. “Since you’re not doing anything.” He squeezed and gasped, throwing his head back into the pillow with extra flair.  
Wade looked scandalised and swatted Peter’s hands away. “Mine,” he hissed, before taking him back in his mouth. Peter made a noise and his back arced. His hand slipped into Wade’s hair and Wade hummed in approval.  
“I wasn’t – _ahh_ \- aware you’d made a claim,” Peter tugged on Wade’s hair. “Is this a formal claim – _god yes_ – because my assistant didn’t notify me – _fuck_ – and she’s normally really good at that sort of stuff.”  
Wade didn’t reply, too busy with Peter’s cock in his mouth. Peter was unsurprisingly okay with that, the heels of his feet digging into his mattress as he tried not to embarrass himself too badly. It had been far too long, and Wade really knew his way around a dick.  
He moaned again as Wade licked the tip of Peter’s cock. Really _really_ knew his way around one.  
“Of course, she has been acting – _erphh_ \- weird lately,” Peter continued, just to fill the silence. “I thought she was stealing office supplies, _god._ Maybe she was trying to figure out a way to tell me you’d claimed my cock.” His fingers dug into Wade’s hair. For a second he worried he’d hurt him, but Wade looked up at him with a grin in his eyes.  
“Fuck Wade,” Peter blurted out, too close to coming to keep being his charming witty self. “ _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”_  
He barely had time to choke out a “Wad-” before he came.  
He panted loudly as Wade let go of Peter’s cock, rubbing the back of his mouth as he swallowed Peter’s cum. Peter pulled a face as he watched.  
Wade smiled at him, a bit of cum still on his lips. Peter pulled himself up and rubbed it away with his thumb. Wade caught Peter’s hand and kissed the back of his hand. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.  
Peter snorted and pulled his hand from Wade’s grip.  
“I was warned about boys like you,” he said in a haughty (yet strangled and breathless) voice.  
“The ones with a talented mouth?”  
Peter didn’t respond, leading Wade to take off his pants and take Peter’s position instead and sitting himself on Wade’s chest. Now that he had permission to touch, he did so with fervour, tracing the chiselled lines of muscle, first with his fingers, then with his mouth.  
He didn’t even notice Wade was talking till he’d kissed his way to Wade’s pubic hair.  
“Guess I’ve proved it right baby boy, not a Ken doll robot, not wait, android, anyway _I’m_ anatomically correct. Anatomically correct and really horny, might I add-”  
Peter bit the inside of his thigh and Wade let out a deep moan.  
“And that’s not doing anything to abate the situation honestly, did you think it would, you know nothing about human biology, you’re obviously an alien, I bet you’re like that Ted and Alice series, the one with Dawn French and that alien who wants sex or whatever, I can’t remember really, it’s been ages and I only saw one episode.”  
Peter huffed out a breath. “Alright, Ma’am, calm down, I know your son said he was at my house,” Peter sang to get Wade to focus.  
“He was the Captain of the football team but I _turned him down,”_ Wade replied and grinned at Peter. He did that annoying fluttering thing that Peter was beginning to like. “You ready big boy?”  
“Only if you never call me that again,” Peter grumbled. He took a deep breath, doing a quick inventory. He was sweaty, out-of-breath and still post-coital.  
He felt good.  
Wade was already leaking. Peter fell a thrill of satisfaction. _He_ had done that.  
He took an experimental swipe across the tip with his tongue, a thoughtful expression crossing his face as he tasted it.  
“I’m not a science experiment,” Wade protested. He lifted his hips, his cock pushing against Peter’s lips. Peter opened his mouth accommodatingly, and slid down to the hilt.  
Wade tensed and let out a soft pleading noise. Peter began to move slowly.  
“At least I hope not,” Wade continued. “If this is all some sort of practical joke or whatever, I’m gonna be so mad Petey boy, I’ll probably only have sex with you another two or three times.”  
For that, Peter let his teeth graze against Wade’s cock.  
“Careful with the delicates!” Wade cried out.  
Peter chuckled around him.  
“I’m so delicate,” Wade bemoaned. “Put that in that report you’re compiling. Wade Winston Wilson is a delicate, sensitive lover.” His hands were clenched so tightly his knuckles were turning white. “And _aghh_ this is definitely working for me. Your mouth is perfect for talking, singing and blowing.”  
Peter wondered if he should add biting to that list.  
Wade’s legs spread apart even further. “God, and imagine you in me. Can’t wait till that date Peter, _fuck,_ not gonna lie, that’s going to be so fucking perfect, you, _ahh_ , me, strawberry flavoured lube, _nnn_.”  
Wade went downhill from there, rambling and moaning.  
“Please, please, _please,_ Peter, so close, _goddammit,_ just a little more, please, please, _please.”_  
Wade was trembling with the urge to thrust up into Peter’s mouth. He was so close.  
“Oh god Peter,” he yelled, moaning as he came and collapsed onto the bed.  
Peter swallowed, fair’s fair, after all, before crawling up and resting his head on Wade’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and breathed in time with Wade’s panting.  
Finally Wade’s fingers wrapped in Peter’s hair. “Oh I’m keeping you,” he purred.  
Peter chuckled into his chest. “Well, if you insist.”

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah... smut. Good? Bad? Let me know. I think I might start a new fic, one of those ones where each chapter is a different pairing, and make all the chapters smutty? Because I def need practise....
> 
> Thanks to [CheezyGoddesss](http://cheezygoddess.tumblr.com)for the tips on writing smut dialogue, hopefully it made the piece passable.
> 
> New headcanon where Peter sings random phrases of songs to get Wade to focus.
> 
> In case you were wondering, the duck on Ben 10 I refer to is Captain Rad Dudesman. He kept dropping middle names throughout the episode, you know 'Profit is my middle name', 'Trouble is my middle name' and then at the end it was revealed his full name actually is Rad Profit Danger Trouble Dudesman so yeah, it came to mind. Yay Ben 10 Omniverse. 
> 
> [Tumblr,](http://crimesofadeadpool.tumblr.com/) comment section, prompts, chatting, it's all great.


End file.
